Who's Clueless Now?
by dpluver
Summary: Danny wants to prove he's not as clueless as everyone else around him. So he goes to school, claiming to be Fenton while dressed as Phantom. He goes home utterly disappointed. snarky!Danny. Oneshot.


**Inspired by Reality Trip and Flirting with Disaster. Would never happen, but it was fun to explore regardless. Snarky Danny, written from his point of view. Enjoy~**

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><p>I've been called a lot of things in my life. Welp. Dipstick. Putrid protoplasm. Child. Punk. Public enemy number one. Fenturd. And the list goes on.<p>

But you know what annoys me the most? "Clueless."

Have you seen the people in this town? Amity Park has its fair share of geniuses, but come on. They have yet to recognize the miniscule difference between Phantom and Fenton. Nobody recognizes the similarity in their voices. Or hair styles. And unless they have written off my frequent trips to the bathroom as incontinence problems, it would seem strange that a seemingly boring kid with only two friends and no real hobbies outside of school is disappearing all the time.

I would much rather my secret identity remain just that: a secret. But when people go around calling me clueless all the time, I start to wonder whether they should be doing some internal reflections.

To prove my point, I woke up as Danny Fenton today, transformed, and proceeded to live a day in my human half's shoes as Danny Phantom. I might add that it was "Danny Phantom Appreciation Day" in Amity Park, making this 'cosplay' act a little less dangerous, as this is common way to celebrate. For one day only, there would be dozens of Phantoms walking all over the place, and I would just be one of the crowd. Just to ward off suspicions, however, I had one of those stupid "Hello, My Name is DANNY _FENTON_" stickers plastered onto my chest. But everyone would notice that my costume was eerily realistic, wouldn't they?

I'm sorry to report that they didn't.

Twenty minutes before school started, I walked down the stairs, step after step in my white boots. I was wearing goggles in the house; admittedly I didn't completely trust my Clueless Theory enough to allow my parents a glimpse at my eyes. But everything else was untouched and in full view. Jazz nearly had a panic attack in the living room when she saw me, but I was dedicated to this experiment and decided to ignore her protests today.

Dad was somewhere in the lab, and Mom was in the kitchen. Testing my luck, I waved to her on my way out, wishing her a Happy DP Day. She stared at me for a solid thirty seconds, which honestly made me feel a little queasy. But then she scowled and muttered something about it not being Halloween yet and went back to whatever she was doing before.

Intrigued by her reaction, I ripped off the goggles and cast them aside once I was outside. I wasn't stupid enough to fly to school today; on my own appreciation day, I was almost guaranteed to get mobbed the minute I revealed that I was in the area.

So I walked. It didn't take long, and despite the occasional glances I got from nearby pedestrians, nobody really commented on my appearance. Most of the adults shrugged me off as a kid dressed up for the local hero's special day. Not that I had any qualms about that.

School was interesting, to say the least. I would say approximately half of my peers had made at least a mild attempt at dressing up. None were as good as mine, but that was to be expected since I was the only real deal on campus that day.

The nerds commented on the 'awesomeness' of my costume and were practically on their hands and knees, begging to know where I got the glowing contact lenses. I copped out and said the internet.

I passed Paulina in the hallway and smiled at her. She, like my mom, stared at me for a few seconds, before sticking up her nose at me and stomping off in the opposite direction. Not a single hint of recognition.

Class was even more fun. Sam and Tucker had virtually the same reactions as Jazz, but after I promised to lay low for a while after to let people forget my "costume," they shut up. My human half is pretty much invisible at Casper High anyway, so any worries of remembrance were nearly non-existent.

Dash, who had ironically also dressed up as me, continued the usual bullying routine and instead of letting any of my ghost powers kick in, I merely became deadweight in his hands. I even got shoved into a locker and waited until Mr. Lancer let me out instead of cheating my way out with intangibility.

I should have been worried, but the more people mistook me for my human half pretending to be my ghost half, the more confident I became. This could have ended in disaster, but apparently their cluelessness outweighs my overconfidence. I am now more fearful for the intelligence level in this town than I am of ghost attacks.

My sticker even fell off at one point. A nerd picked it up and handed it back to me. Before I put it back on, he stared wistfully at the emblem on my chest.

"I wish my mom had done a better job with my costume," he said sadly. His was just painted over the black t-shirt he was wearing. Not a bad effort, really, but it was hard to pity someone who would openly admit to having his mom create his costumes. He reminded me of that time I went to the San Diego Comic Book Convention with Tucker and Sam. Actually, this whole day was bringing back those old memories; however, back then, my secret was already out so it didn't matter whether I walked around as Fenton or Phantom. A million government agents wanted to zap me regardless of my persona.

Casper High even hosted a costume contest that afternoon. It was randomly selected among the students that had shown up in Phantom attire today. I got fourth place. Go figure.

School was out soon enough, and Sam was furious, having lost a bet to Tucker that my rash behavior today would cause someone to pick up on my secret. She lost twenty dollars.

Once at home, Jazz begged me just to change back now that the day was almost over.

I wish I had listened to her.

An hour later, I was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat from the fridge. The second I touched the ham, I felt something cold and metal brush up against the backside of my head. I froze.

Within three seconds, there was a flash of blue light and I was sucked into the Fenton Thermos by none other than my own dad. The one Amity Park residents refer to as the 'clueless, bumbling idiot.'

I've been in here for two hours now and I'm starting to wonder if anyone is ever going to come and rescue me. So much for being appreciated.

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><p><strong>This is also based loosely on Rene Magritte's painting of a pipe, which has the caption, "This is not a pipe." Contradictions rock!<strong>

**And Danny's supposed to be a little OOC. In canon, Danny would never be savvy enough to try this without having a panic attack. Love it/hate it, let me know what you thought.**


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